Here are some of the ways that this behavior has been interpreted:
Though it’s most fun to blame it on being a Scorpio: Quick to Love. Quick to Hate.
What I’ve recently learned is… I want to avoid Shame (Thanks Brene Brown).
I cut and run.
I slash and burn.
Ironically, I consider myself a fighter. I consider myself a hard worker. I like to believe I stand and deliver. And sometimes I do.
But when I don’t – when I throw the baby out with the bathwater – I’m now realizing – I miss big opportunities. Opportunities like:
- Completing that dream graduate program with the full ride scholarship (ugh! The second biggest regret of my life!)
- Being a part of the last three years of my mother’s life (the first biggest regret).
- Seeing what healing might happen or what relationships can be nurtured or how my career might be effected by hosting a long-standing community Poetry Slam (a project I quit after a relatively successful first two years).
I miss these opportunities because the 1% that rubs me the wrong way makes me feel vulnerable, brings me shame. The only safe option in that moment seems to be running, seems to be throwing it all out – even the baby.
But when the baby gets tossed, the most essentially useful and potentially healing piece is lost. What is lost is vital to my well-being.
So,okay… now I know better, now I should do better. Maybe Brene Brown’s notion of Shame Resiliency is just where I need to start. Maybe I can learn how to save the baby.
Save YOUR babies, Teamies, with love!