The first time I checked the clock, it was 1:50am. I finally got out of bed around 2:30am. I’ve learned it’s just no use laying there, hoping. I won’t go back to sleep until I feel tired again, which should be sometime around 8am when I’ll be expected to get the day going.
I think it’s the moon’s fault. Have you seen it tonight? My god! It’s enormous and so bright that it’s almost like daytime outside. It forced me to step outside, onto my porch, in my pajamas, to see where all the light was coming from.
I think I’m a creature of the moon like that. I think I need, from time to time, to bathe in it.
Ancient cosmos-based medicine says moon bathing is cooling. It says the full moon brings out unresolved emotions in us then calms them.
Have you noticed how scary the world is right now? I have friends who are worried about the end. I have friends who are worrying about how to protect themselves from what seems to be coming – friends that can’t just hide – friends that will be hunted if and when the hunting happens. I have friends who shake their heads and throw up their hands. I have friends who have given up.
Then, I have friends – well, one friend – who insists the sky is NOT falling. We’ve been here before. Many times. She says.
I like the sound of that – that the sky will remain intact. And it will.
But… it’s hard not to think that, because of this one friend’s race/ethnicity, orientation, and socioeconomic class, she just doesn’t realize that for many people, the sky actually HAS fallen before. She probably doesn’t realize the extent to which it might FEEL like the sky is ACTUALLY falling when everyone you love dearest is under attack, is hunted, is poisoned, is murdered, is raped, is left for dead. Will it happen to everyone? Does it happen to everyone? Has it happened to everyone? No. But for those it does happen to and for their kin, for their survivors – the sky falls, the sky fell, the sky will fall.
Except not entirely. The ACTUAL sky will not fall. The ACTUAL sky is a reminder that we are so small; so miniscule.
“Not people die but worlds die in them” says the Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko. Human worlds die. Yes. The Universe remains.
It’s not REALLY a comfort at all. It’s just what is. After the dramas of our lives – our individual and our collective lives – play out, the sky will still hold the stars (dying themselves, all the time) and the moon will still bathe the earth, until, eventually, the sky swallows them up too.
This isn’t to say that human destruction does not matter. It’s to say that human destruction matters all the more. The sky, the moon, the stars, the cosmos, the UNIVERSE is constantly asking us: “Why are you wasting it all? WHY? LOOK AROUND YOU! HAVEN’T I GIVEN YOU ENOUGH? WHY MUST YOU TRY TO TAKE MORE BY DESTROYING EACH OTHER?”
“and every time again and again/ I make my lament against destruction (Yevtushenko).”
The moon is so beautiful tonight. Beautiful. Behind the black silhouette of the pine and the naked elm's arms, set in deep violet-blue, tiny glints of starlight gleam in scattered glitter fashion upon the sky.
I am accepting my smallness. I am listening to the Universe. I will continue to make my lament against destruction.
Howl, Howl, Howl
And keep Howling,